Ketamine Infusions

My first round of ketamine infusions was October 31, November 1,3, and 6th.  So what are ketamines? Ketamines are a “dissociate anesthetic”. It’s used to help put people to sleep, but obviously has other uses as well. It has also been used as a Date Rape drug.

So I went into the same place, the ECT department of the hospital but I was taken back to a different room where I laid on a hospital bed. There they put the IV in and asked the same list of questions that determines your depression score. My score was in the 30s which is high.

Then the doctor comes in and asks if we’re ready for “time out”. Which is asking your name, birth date, and permission to proceed. I gave the go ahead and wait to find out what the ketamines were going to do as they were slowly injected into my IV line.

About fiften to twenty minutes passed and I started to notice I physically was started to feel funny. My body went numb and I couldn’t tell if I was breathing. The room started to look weird and holding my hand up in front of my face and moving was like I had multiple hands all moving the same direction at once. I could hear myself talk but I couldn’t really feel my mouth moving. I didn’t have any hallucinations as far as seeing someone at the end of my bed kind of thing, but I was tripping just the same.

I was scared because I had never experienced anything like this before, but I finally understood what tripping felt like. Everything continued to be distorted and it was difficult to focus. It took about forty-five minutes for the medication to slowly be pumped into me and then another fifteen minutes for the side effects to ebb. I was a little unsteady on my feet as I got up, but things got better the more I walked.

After these four treatments they had me take the depression score again and my depression score was 0! Talk about a huge difference.

I felt awesome for about two to three weeks and that’s when I felt the effects slowly starting to wear off. Here it is December 23, 2017 and I have really low days where I cry and just bottom out and call for help. But then around that day I have really good days where I feel good and get things done in the first half of the day. The second half I am in bed sleeping for a couple of hours before I have to get back up and try to get dinner and get the kids to bed. The second half of the day is the hardest for me and the easiest for me to break down.

I’m scheduled to go back in for another round of ketamine infusions starting January 3rd, 2018. I have four treatments scheduled, but they may do 6-8 to try and get the ketamines to last longer.

I have to be careful because I can only get these treatments four times a year, because it’s still experimental and they don’t know what the long term effects are.

Now the doctor did explain that if we have to move past the ketamines that there is still hope. They are trying to get a machine that uses magnetics. Apparently, you go into the machine, sit in there for a half hour while magnets go around your head. I fail to see what magnets do, but I’m not the doctor so don’t know any of the science behind it.

Then she also told me, that there is a drug that is like ketamines only without the side effects that is being tested right now, so it would be a couple of years before it was on the market.

So that is my experience with ketamines. If you have any questions feel free to leave a comment or send me and email at

To learn more about ketamines please visit the following sites:


ECT or Shock Therapy

I originally started this post back in September but never posted it so here goes.

It has begun! I have started ECT or shock therapy. I have had three treatments so far. My fourth one is tomorrow. I get called back into the IV prep room where a nurse inserets the needle with the small tube on it that sits inside my vein and the tubes coming out of that she tapes to my arm. I then use the bathroom and then walk across the hall into the ECT room. I lay down on the hospital bed where the nurses hook me up to the IV. There is a medication they give me that counteracts the klonopin I’m taking. It makes me severely panic stricken and it’s extremely hard to deal with.  They put a mask over my nose and mouth and pull the sides of the bed up and stuff pillows between the sides of the bed and me so I don’t move so much. Thankfully after that it’s sleepy time meds so I’m out when treatment begins.

Shortly after that I wake up in the recovery room, not aware that anything had happened. (Thankful for that.) I don’t know how the staff can deal with seeing people convulse during treatment. Anyway, Ingrid asks me several questions such as date of birth, where am I, name, and several other questions and they use my reaction time and responses to judge if I am ready to go home.

It’s only the beginning and I haven’t really noticed too much as far as a change in my mood. I have noticed some improvement but nothing that would make me jump for joy. Of course I can’t really determine if my depression would have gotten better if I had continued ECT because I had to stop the treatments due to memory problems.

So that’s out! Now what am I supposed to do, go back to my mediccations and live a life that’s a little better on meds, but still pretty miserable? And it’s not just affecting me but my family. There’s got to be something else. There just HAS to be! Enter: ketamine infusions.

I’ll talk about ketamine infusions and my experience with them in another post.

Links for further reading about ECT:


If you have any questions feel free to ask me. You can leave me a comment or send me an email at