Darkest Night

It’s been a long week. I started Latuda on Tuesday, July 25,  for my bipolar and my brain has been going haywire trying to figure out what to do with all the med changes. I go from functioning one minute to breaking down the next to feeling okay and then back around again. I’m also on a high dose of prozac for someone with bipolar. So it looks like I’ll have to come off that because it may be making my moods cycle more quickly. I’m not looking forward to coming off the prozac because it has helped with anxiety so I can only imagine what I’ll be put on for that. I’m already on klonopin and my doctor doesn’t want to go up on the dosage because it’s already pretty high.

My mind is in a whirlwind with all this as well as having IOP groups to go to and homework for my CBT-O class. It’s pretty intense stuff which I’ll share my notes with you in another post once my CBT-O classes are finished which will be this Thursday, August 3rd.

So yesterday, I had a med management appointment and Latuda was increased from 30mg to 40mg and I was told if I don’t feel better, then to call and let them know because they will have to start reducing the prozac.

My poor brain! I already feel like it’s having a hard enough time with med changes and everything else that is going on.

When I have some time, I am continuing to work on my book about my mental health journey so you can see the overall picture of what I went through, how it affected me, and what I am doing to aid in my recovery. I’m still working on writing the first draft and doing some formatting as well. I’m still toying with the title for the book, but right now it is called God Never Forgets. Even though I’m going through all of this, I know God is right there helping me through every step of the way. He has placed the people, medications, and facilities to aid in my recovery and maintain mood stability. There are some things I have learned through IOP classes and CBT-O and some other reading that have given me ideas. One, make sure your home is free of clutter because that can actually be bad for your mental health, and two, make a structured day and have lists because this helps people with bipolar maintain stability. I’ll let you know what I come up with.

Until next time, have  a wonderful week.



Overall Facts of Mental Illness

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), about 1 out of 5 adults in the United States experience mental illness in a given year. That’s about 43.8 million people.

1 out of 25 adults suffers from a serious mental illness that affects they daily lives and can actually be debilitating. That’s 9 million people.

A little over 1% of adults in the United States lives with schizophrenia.

About 2.6% of adults in the United States suffers from bipolar disorder.

16 million adults in the United States had at least one major depressive episode in the past year.

A little over 18% of adults suffers from an anxiety disorder like PTSD, OCD, and phobias.

Out of those adults who experience substance abuse, about 20 million people, about 50% of them had a mental illness.

10.2 million adults have co-occurring mental health and addiction disorders.

About 26% of homeless adults living in shelters have a serious mental illness.

About 24% of state prisoners have a recent history of a mental illness.

Depression is the 1st leading cause of disability worldwide.

About $193 billion is lost in earnings every year due to serious mental illness.

90% of those who die by suicide have an underlying mental illness. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States.

For adults it is important that you talk with your doctor, connect with other families, learn more about mental illness and visit sites like NAMI.org.

20% of teenagers 13-18, live with a mental health condition. Mood disorder exists in about 11% percent of the teenage population. Then 10% have either a behavioral or conduct disorder. Anxiety disorders exists in about 8% percent of youth.

In ages 10-24 suicided is the 3rd leading cause of death.
Of all lifetime cases of mental illness, about 50% begin by age 14 and 75% by age 24. Ten years is about the delay between onset of symptoms.

By age 14, about 37% of students with a mental illness drop out of school.

About 70% of youth in state and juvenile systems have a mental illness.

Warning signs to look out for are:
Feeling very sad and with drawn
Trying to either harm or kill oneself and making plans to do so
Severe mood swings that cause relationship problems
Drastic changes in behavior, personality and sleeping habits
Risk taking behaviors that can cause harm to one’s self or others
Not eating, eating disorders, severe weight gain or loss
Extreme difficulties in concentrating that can lead to failure in school
Intense worries or fears that affects daily activities

The four things to do for teens talk to their pediatrician, get a referral to a mental health specialist, work with the school, and connect with other families.

To read a little more on these statics you can visit: http://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-By-the-Numbers

There are those with chronic illnesses such as fibromyalgia, arthritis, cancer, aids, heart disease, Parkinson’s Disease, lupus, ect. Also suffer from mental illness. After a diagnosis of a chronic illness it may be hard to process or think that you will have this illness indefinitely, especially if you’re suffering from pain. You may feel anxious about future treatment options and feel down about your new limitations. You may find it hard to accept and adapt to your new reality and cope with any changes that take place. Your favorite activities may be harder to do.

All of this can cause depression. Signs of depression (mood and physical), whether you have a chronic illness or not, are:
• Feeling sad, irritable, or anxious
• Feeling empty, hopeless, guilty, or worthless
• Loss of pleasure in usually-enjoyed hobbies or activities, including sex
• Fatigue and decreased energy, feeling listless
• Trouble concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• Not being able to sleep, or sleeping too much. Waking too early
• Eating too much or not wanting to eat at all, possibly with unplanned weight gain or loss
• Thoughts of death, suicide or suicide attempts
• Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems without a clear physical cause and/or that do not ease even with treatment


People with a chronic illness have a greater chance of mental illness. Depression is treatable even while you have other conditions and will enhance your day to day life. Treatment usually involves antidepressants and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) and in severe cases, electroconvulsive therapy.

So while have a mental illness in itself is trying and some days seem impossible to get through, there is hope.

Sunny Skies But Not So Inside

The sun is shining bright making me think it’s warm outside, but the wind is blowing bringing a chill to the air. I sit here and think about what I might write that may be of use to someone else but I’m just not sure what to say.

Since my diagnosis of bipolar disorder or (possible bipolar) I have been struggling with what I feel such as anxiety, feel low like wanting to sleep all of the time and just want everyone to leave me alone, yet the anxiety kicks in and I’m afraid to be alone with my feelings. I’m certainly not in the mania phase.

Yesterday I was just going like crazy but not getting a whole lot done. My mind was just racing with thoughts and ideas and I was this way the day before as well. This happens to me every week. I have several days where I am in a like a hypomanic state and then I drop to a depressive state but I can also still feel hypomanic. I guess they call that mixed features. It’s just so odd to feel my body and mind just all over the place. I know I have yet to learn so many things about coping with mental illness.

Yes, this is just a new diagnosis but trails on the path of the already trodden PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder diagnosis. So how do I manage it all? That is something I am still trying to piece together. I am working on a piece just for that though and I will post it as soon as I have it finished.

If you have a mental illness, how are you dealing right now? I’d love to hear from you. Feel free to comment or send me an email JanisTalkz@gmail.com



Good morning everyone! My name is Janis and I’m going to be talking to you about my experience with PTSD, depression, and anxiety. Just yesterday (February 28, 2017) my psychologist said he swore I was bipolar but wanted to know for sure so he ordered psych testing to be done. I’m still waiting to find out when that is.

It is so difficult to deal with all of these all of these things at once but I am going to try my best to tell you my story as well as continue to write about my journey as I go on to my path of recovery. If you have any questions or comments as I go along, please feel free to leave them in the comments section or email me at JanisTalkz@gmail.com


Last updated March 6, 2017, Monday.